Two Quick Funny Conversations

Here's a  quick funny one for you.  I recently engaged in these conversations with some 6 and 7-year-olds.

A child is telling me what he knows about police officers when another student interrupts and says
"Police officers get to wear tight pants and boots.  I want to be a police offier so I can wear tight pants and boots."
Well, everyone has their own reasons for chooing their career paths lol

And upon coming out of the bathroom a child said to me, "____ didn't flush."
Me:  You should always flush.
Another Child:  My dad said that men don't have to flush.

Well, low and behold, 4 hours later, I went into the unisex bathroom at work after a young man and guess what, he hadn't flushed.  Maybe that kid was on to something...

It's the Little Things--like heat and hot water

A while back, I scheduled an appointment to get my living room heat fixed.  It seemed to be on a part time plan as in part of the time it worked and part of the time it did not.  It turned out it was the thermostat.  The thermostat would think it was 70 degrees when it was really 55 so the electrician replaced it and life was good--for four hours when I went into the bathroom to do a load of laundry and saw a puddle on the floor in front of my hot water heater.  SERIOUSLY?!  A friend who has HVAC experience/background installed my hot water heater for me so I had no idea who I was even supposed to call to have it repaired.  HVAC guy?  Plumber?  Someone else?  So I called my parents and asked them.  BTW this was also the day after I had to somewhat unexpectedly get a new car because mine was going to cost more than it was worth to pass inspection.  Anyway, they gave me someone to call so I called said someone, but she didn't have anyone available that day and wasn't sure she was really the right person for me to call.  So I called my parents again--who were trying to get their raking and cleaning done before they had company the next day and my constant calls were not helping.  I made a bunch of calls-it was only 3:00 so I figured someone might still be open.  No luck.  I finally got ahold of someone who said he could call me back on Monday.  Did I mention this was all taking place on a Wednesday--as in the Wednesday before Thanksgiving--yeah, I know, I'm way behind on blogging.  I found some old paperwork and found out part of the hot water heater was under warranty, made a phone call and they said they'd ship me what they thought was the broken part, but they would not pay for someone to install it--did I mention I'm NOT handy.  So even with the part, I was still going to need a plumber.  That night I boiled water to do my dishes.  Well, you know it was almost Thanksgiving so might as well do like the Pilgrims did.  The next day I figured there'd be some hot water left when I went to take a shower--GE had told me to turn the hot water off so it wouldn't leak any more.  Boy was I wrong!  That may have been the coldest shower I've ever taken.  Friday I took a shower at my parents' house since I was Black Friday shopping with my mom.  The husband finally got ahold of a plumber who could come out on Saturday for an extra fee or on Monday.  Well, I don't know about your job, but in my job you are NOT allowed to take the day off after a holiday weekend and hubs can't really do it either.  My parents were going out of town that day and I'm not really one to ask a friend to come sit and wait--plus most of my friends work.  I figured we'd suffer a few more days, but my husband just wanted hot water back so he agreed to pay the extra fee. To make a long story not quite as long, for what we paid we could have gotten a new hot water heater.  The part that I knew was broken was broken and so was the expansion tank--I think it was full, but the parts were NOT expensive.  It's the darn labor.  I'm in the wrong profession!  I have to work a whole week to make what we paid that plumber for two-three hours and that included him driving to Home Depot to buy a part.  I will say one good thing, while my husband was waiting for the plumber, I was getting my car inspected and getting an oil change and because it took so long (in their opinion not mine, I thought it was a normal amount of time), they gave me a HUGE discount.  By the time the weekend was over, I was certainly happy to have hot water, heat, and a car that passed inspection.  Speaking of cars, I never told you about the car that hit my house and drove off, did I?  I'll spare you that story for now except to say a few weeks before all this went down some random person (I wasn't home, a neighbor saw it), hit my house and didn't report it. Thankfully, the damage wasn't huge, more of an annoyance because I had to spend money to have it fixed. I'd so much rather have put that money to traveling--or apparently, saving for a hot water heater part.
   Have a good night blogland!

Don't Give Me a Candle on Christmas

Hello blog readers!  So per usual, after the holidays work got busy and I slacked on blogging.  I should have time for a few more posts before things get busy again in April.  So over the past few days, I was trying to think what to blog about.  I have a few ideas that were like 2-3 sentences long so I was like, hmm, is that really enough?  Then I was thinking back to the last time I blogged and it was around Christmas so it reminded me of a funny if slightly inappropriate story from Christmas Eve.  We used to go to my in-laws house for Christmas Eve dinner. We'd go to church with them and then have dinner or have dinner then go to church.  The past couple of years my husband's sister has hosted because she recently bought a house and wanted to take over a holiday.  Since this year, Christmas Eve was on a Saturday, no one had to work so she said dinner would be at 3.  There was also a football game on and while football does not really intersted me, I knew the guys would have to plan around that.  So our plan was to get there between 1 and 2.  Now I will admit that my church attendance could be better.  I don't consider myself the most religious person, but I do go from time to time and I always go on Christmas Eve.  I kind of enjoy going on Christmas Eve.  With dinner at 3, we knew we wouldn't make the 4:00 mass and likely not the 6:00 one either.  We have done midnight mass before, but we're old and we didn't really want to be going out at midnight.  It turns out a church nearby offers a 10:00 mass instead of a midnight mass so we decided to do that.  Now I have been to this church quite a few times, but never on Christmas Eve.  So we go and they give us a candle, someone lights it and mass begins.  All I can think is how long to I have to hold this candle?  I am a klutz.  I will burn something or drop it or something.  I have NEVER had to hold a candle at Christmas Eve mass before.  They finally tell us we can extinguish them.  Thank goodness.  Now I can actually pay attention without worrying about burning something.  Church goes on and towards the end they come around and light the candles again.  WHAT?!  So as I'm holding my candle, wax drips onto my finger, burns me, and I mutter a four letter word that rhymes with "hit."  Now I'm pretty sure no one heard me--not even my husband and he was within ear shot, but I said it really softly, but still who swears IN CHURCH ON CHRISTMAS EVE?  I don't even swear that much in non-church life.  I did ask forgiveness for my sins, but I'm pretty sure I didn't score any brownie points with God.  If we go to this church next year, I am not getting a candle.  It's not worth the risk.  :-)