Getting Old

I'm struggling with the fact that before this year is over I will hit the big 3-0. Once upon a time I thought you were supposed to have life figured out at 30. When my mother was 30, she was married, owned a house, and had two kids. When I was a kid, I had a plan and by this time in my life I was supposed to be married, have kids, own a house, be well established in my career as a teacher or a lawyer and be writing books on the side, have seen all 50 states, and most European countries. Yes, random I know, but that was the plan. Now I have no desire to have kids right now, maybe some day, but not now so I'm okay with that though I do realize that at some point I'll have to worry about the infamous biological clock. I'm also okay with the fact that I'm not currently married, in fact since I just bought a home, I can't really afford a wedding any time soon. I do have a home though, yay. As for all 50 states, I think I'm only halfway there and re: Europe, I've got a long ways to go, perhaps by the time I'm 40 I'll have reached my traveling goals? I also wanted to see Australia, but thankfully my "plan" didn't have an age set for that. I still feel like I'm supposed to feel like more of a grown up. Aren't I supposed to have some life plan? Truth be told, although I can't seem to stay awake as late as I used to, a part of me still feels like I'm a decaded younger. Perhaps I'm having an early mid-life crisis. I was quite depressed about turning 20 and told everyone I was having a 1/5 life crisis (you know if I lived to be 100 then 20 was 1/5 of my life, get it?). I recently heard about a movie called "30 Things to Do Before You're 30." I'm quite intrigued to see the movie and the 30 things I'm supposed to do. So as I continue feeling depressed about the big 3-0 and the fact that I seem to be lacking in the figuring life out department, I bid you good night until the next blog.