Nightmares in Priming and Staining Part 3: The Conclusion

Several Thursdays ago when I got home from work, there was a big pile of wood in my carport,

some loud music playing, and half the siding on one side of my house was gone. The contractor had begun working on my home. Unfortunately, he said some of the stain still wasn't dry. He couldn't understsand why it was taking so long to dry, but when he moved the wood, he got stain on him--and you guessed it, that meant there was going to be more spots for me to touch up. Later, he announced that it must have been a pain in the arse (I'm paraphrasing) to stain all that wood. Well, that was the understatement of the week! He suggested that next time I should probably just stain it and not prime it. NOW he tells me this. Ugh. But I guess we learn things the hard way in life. He also suggested maybe next time I should consider hiring someone to paint--well, if I could afford it, I would, but painters aren't cheap. (I must interject here and say that despite my current whining, the contractor was a nice guy and did a good job.) I had a dance class so I left him there to keep working and he said he'd try to come back on Friday, but it might not be 'til Monday.

What I thought: Of course, it's not like I wanted to use my carport or anything, let's just leave a pile of wood there and leave me with a house with just some plywood and tyvek paper for the next four days. Where is my company supposed to park tonight?

What I said: okay, great thanks, see you then.

When I got home from work on Friday, he was back and some of the new siding was on the house. Yay! Unfortunately, the touch ups were pretty obvious. I could see many spots where the paint had come off and you could see the prime. GRRR. My one saving grace was the condo association is requiring us to have our entire condo (outside) painted by the end of 2011 so I was hoping they would forgive the boo-boos and let it go 'til next summer when I planned to have the unit painted. He left on Friday and said he'd be back Monday so you can imagine my surprise when I heard loud banging outside my house on Saturday morning around 10am. I was up, but still sitting in my pjs as I tend to lounge around for a little while on Saturday mornings. I quickly changed into my gym clothes just in time to hear the doorbell ring and the contractor asked if I could move my car so he could have easier access to the wood without hitting my car. I decided to move the car to the gym and go to the gym since I was in gym gear. If you didn't think I was a fool before, you will now. I grabbed my water, ipod, keys, id and off I went. However, as I was partway to the gym, I realized I didn't have a hair elastic. I looked all over my car for one at all the red lights I hit, but couldn't find one. No problem, I'll just stop at my parents house, they live close to the gym, and get one from my Mom or see if I left one in my old room. Well, Mom wasn't home and I couldn't find a hair elastic or even a rubber band anywhere in my old room. I did find a pair of sneakers, socks, and various other things, but no elastic. So what did I do? Not turn around and go home like a smart person, but drive 10 more minutes to CVS and buy a pack of hair elastics. Who does that? I could have gone home and got 10 for free in the time it took me to go to CVS. Anyway, now I could finally put my hair up and go to the gym. And since I took so long the wood was out of the carport and I had my parking spot back--yay! --and my weekend guest could now park in the driveway instead of down the street in what was hopefully a "legal" spot. By the end of the day, I was broke a.k.a. the siding was on aside from one piece and the contractor was paid. But guess what? I still wasn't done staining. I had to stain the bottoms of the newly cut siding and I had to touch up as much as I could reach on house. Monday the contractor installed the last piece of siding (he was one piece short so that cost me some more $) and he stained that himself. So at long last the project was done. There are still spots that need to be touched up, but I don't have a tall enough ladder and like I said, I'll need to get the whole unit painted next summer anyway. So now my next project is learning how to caulk as he told me to caulk around my windows. I hope that is easier than staining siding! I have to have some more siding replaced before 2011 is over and I'm not looking forward to it, but hopefully, the painting part will go better. Maybe I can find a contractor who paints or do it in the summer so I can paint in my caport. So as I reflect on this crazy project, which brought me an unncessary amount of stress (because I am a freak!) here's what I've learned:

-Priming sucks

-Prime doesn't easily come off of a car, clothes, skin, or hair

-Never prime and stain siding at your parents house

-There are a few people you can count on to help you through life's minor siding tragedies in the form of physical support, moral support, or just letting you whine/cry/blog and to them I am eternally greatful.

-I am in the wrong profession

-Woodpeckers are annoying

-Trying to work after a night of no sleeping is horrid

-I now understand why contractors don't like to paint

-There is still prime on my car

-I'm still not handy or a good painter, but I survived and sometimes that's all that matters

-The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray (and by that I mean I couldn't go to a cook-out on that Saturday because my contractor showed up unexpectedly to finish the job)

-If I ever buy another home, it won't have wood siding, bring on the vinyl baby!