So my friend/friend's cousin/blog-friend said I could steal her idea and do my random letters so here it goes...
Dear Mother Nature,
We can be friends again, at least until this weekend, when I think you might piss me off again.
Dear Rising Gas Prices,
Seriously, what is the deal? If the price is going up like it has been around here this week then the gas should be getting better, perhaps good enough for the car to drive itself and I can just nap on the way to work.
Dear Three Snowbanks that Surround my Driveway,
At least one of you needs to melt. My car seems to be magnetically attracted to you and I am now waging a competition between you and the car. Score one for the car today and one for you yesterday.
Dear People Who Hate Teachers?
Seriously, what's the deal? I get that there are some bad teachers out there and I get that teachers complain a lot--but some of those complaints are legit. But come one, do you have to hate a whole population? If you have one bad waiter are you going to say you hate all waiters and never go out to eat again? Or if one doctor is a quack, are you going to badmouth all doctors? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Show some respect people.
Dear Liver,
Can you please fix yourself? Apparently, not drinking is taboo unless you are pregnant or a recovering alcoholic. Since I am neither, people think I am a freak.
Dear Sweet Tooth,
Go away. I am eating too much junk food.
Dear Valentine's Day Haters,
Okay, I know V-Day can be annoying if you're single (depressing) and it can be annoying if you're not single (expensive). But if you want to enjoy V-Day, come spend the day where I work. It's adorable!
Dear Roof Rake,
Thank you for working to get snow off my roof. And dear roof, thank you for handling all that snow.
Dear Ice in the Driveway and on the Roof,
Would you please melt? I'm sick of slipping on you (driveway) and roof ice you just make me nervous.
Dear Candles,
I didn't used to be a big fan, but now that I'm a home-owner, I quite enjoy you. You make my home smell nice. :)
Dear Leaky Faucet,
Stop leaking.
Dear Word Games,
I am addicted! And to make it worse, I just discovered Banana grams and have now invited people over to play. I am an even bigger dork than I originally thought.
Dear Jess,
Thanks for letting me steal your idea, though I have to say your letters were much funnier. :)
Dear Self,
Stop procrastinating and go read your book for Book Club.
3 comments:
dear friend,
you're letters are both funny AND true.
you're letter to your liver makes me nervous and want to know what is wrong.
my sweet tooth and i are in a fight right now, because he is a pushy asshole.
and i am instantly crabby when i have to pump gas. i look at the numbers and think REALLY?! are you kidding me?
if i slip on one more piece of ice i am booking a one way flight to california
the vast majority of teachers rule!! like you :)
I LOVE this and might also have to steal this idea. Who would I be stealing it from though- you or Jess?
I got gas today. $49.90. WTF? Seriously?
I am also concerned about your liver. Need more info, soon.
Jess and Natalie,
At my last physical, my lab results showed high (insert medical jargon) levels of something or other in my liver so my doctor told me not to drink or take Tylenol (which I never take) for the next month until they can run more tests. She doesn't think it's anything serious, but wants to be cautious. I made the mistake of going on WebMD (will write a letter to them in the next letter blog) and Jess, I should have followed your previous blog advice, b/c although the site is a wealth of info it certainly presents a worse-case scenario. Nurse Melissa has assured me I am not in any serious medical danger.
Natalie--you would be stealing from Jess as I stole from hern (but I had permission to steal).
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