Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sunday Snippets a.k.a. Letters Part 2

Dear Mother Nature,
I quite enjoyed Thursday and especially Friday, but the problem is now I want more nice weather (what's that expression? You give an 'em an inch and they want a mile?). I kept expecting yesterday to be nice too, but instead I had to bundle up and try not to get blown away.



Dear Wind,
What is the deal? It was nice of you to blow ice chunks off my roof and not hit the car, but seriously, can you please calm down? Have we done something to upset you? Now instead of complaining about the snow, I'm going to complain about the branches that are everywhere.



Dear Heat,
Considering how much my last bill was, it should feel like a sauna in here 24/7 not just warm enough to keep the pipes from freezing while I'm at work and quite chilly at sleepy time in all but the bedroom. What's the deal?



Dear Plow Man,
I truly appreciate you plowing my complex, but if you wake me up screaming the f word at 4:00 tomorrow morning like you did for a previous storm, I am NOT going to be happy. If you must curse at that hour, which is not very professional of you, do it in a whisper or wait and do it when you're off the clock.



Dear Banana Grams,
You are awesome! You brought much fun to four of my friends and me on Friday evening. Must play you again soon.



Dear Apples to Apples,
Even though a few people did not like that I won you (I lost big time the time before), I found you to be a hilarious enjoyment. I want to do another game night.



Dear Airlines that Charge for Luggage,
Seriously?! Okay, I get that you have rising costs too, but how can something that has been free as long as you've been around suddenly cost a tank of gas? And what is this about some airlines now charging for carry-ons?!?!?! Are people going to start sneaking on books, necessary, medication, ipods, passports and wallets? We'll all be walking around with those crazy big pants that people often associate with teenagers just so we can fit books, ipods, and wallets into our pockets so we dont' have to pay for them. Or we'll be wearing coats to fly to Hawaii in July so we have extra pocket space to put a book to read on the flight.

Plane Person: Ma'm we need to see your ID

Customer: Okay, here it is

Plane Person: Thank you and now you owe us $40 for carrying on your ID

Customer: Yes, but I need to carry that on so I can board the plane, you require an ID.

Plane Person: Sorry ma'am, we charge for carry-ons now because the $400 you spent for your ticket and the $50 you paid for your luggage wasn't enough so we need to get more money out of you. Oh, and if you want to bring that book too, that's another $20.



Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but seriously, it's getting expensive to fly!



Dear Spring,
I know you're coming next month, but the groundhog said you're supposed to come early, so any time now, come on, you can do it.



Dear Ridiculous Planet Fitness Commercial,
You are just that, ridiculous, but I laugh out loud every time I see you, which I guess makes me ridiculous. Do you know the one I mean, the one where the guy keeps saying "I lift things up and put them down." It's kind of dumb (which I guess is the point), but I still laugh every time I see it (I need help, I know).



Dear Hallmark Hall of Fame,
Okay, usually I shed a tear during your movies, but what was up with this last one with Betty White and Jennifer Love-Hewitt. I bawled several times during that movie. The MC thought I was nuts--as in more nuts than usual. I think he was ready to call the men in the white coats, but I tell you if you see that movie, bring a big ol' box of tissues (or maybe you're normal and not so sappy like me). BTW Betty White still rocks! You go girl. 88 years young.



Dear Ellen,
Excited that I can see your show Monday. Hope it's a good one as you crack me up.



Dear Sunday Night,
You are not usually my favorite night of the week because you know Monday follows you (though you're not as bad as Monday night as you do at least come with a day off ahead of you), but since Monday's a holiday I quite like you.



Dear This Monday Only,
Since you are a holiday this week Monday, I will not complain about you. Don't get used to it, I'll likely be complaining about you again next week.





Dear Recent Restaurant I Visited,
Why do you insist on calling mozzarella sticks, fried cheese? I was expecting something delicious like at Maggiannos, they're fried cheese is just that, deliciousness, not a mozzarella stick. Yours is simply mozzarella sticks so just call it what it is, don't get me all excited about a new twist on the mozzarella stick only to serve plain ol' not that warm mozzarella sticks.



Dear Maggianos,
Now that I've just mentioned you, I kind of want to visit you, but not 'til after vegan week.



Dear You You Restaurant,
You had delcious beginnger sushi. How have I never eaten at you before?



Dear Blinds,
Why must you be such a pain to dust?




Dear Hot Water Heater,

Why do you have to leak? Not going to be cheap to fix you, but it's gotta get done.

Dear Gym,
What is the deal with this increased attendance? Some days lately you have to all but beg, borrow, and steal to get a decent machine. I thought that only happened in January. It's nearly the end of February, aren't things supposed to slow down? And is it just me, or is the gym busier on Mondays than Fridays?

Dear Megan's Leftover Cookie Dough Balls,
You were delightful to eat this past week, but I think you've caused me to gain weight!

Dear Blog Readers,
Have a great day/night! Thanks for reading!

No comments: