How Many People Does It Take to Change a Toilet Seat?

How many people does it take to change a toilet seat? Go ahead, guess. 1? 2? 3? No, no, and no. The answer is: five, yes, five. The half bathroom in my new home had a broken toilet seat, the toilet itself is fine, but the part you sit on was broken and resting next to the toilet and the cover was still there. I went to Home Depot with my Mom one day (I think I should just have my job forward all my paychecks to them as that seems to be where all my money is going these days) and while I was waiting for paint, I asked her if she would go grab me a toilet seat. Being the nice mother she is, she did. When we got home and I started to paint my cabinets, she decided to be nice again and take off the old toilet seat cover and put the new seat on. Unfortunately, she couldn't get it. My mom is fairly handy so I found this surprising, but she said she couldn't get the screw to come out. I tried later and had no luck. The screw was so rusted on there that the screwdriver did nothing. I tried a drill. Still nothing. Mike tried a couple of days later and he too had no luck, but he came with a spray that is supposed to make rust go away so I sprayed that and do you think it worked? No, not only did it not work, but the stuff smells so strong I think I may have killed a few brain cells. Five days, more spray, screwdrivers, and drilling later, still no luck. On the bright side, I thought perhaps I'd have fabulous calves from all this squatting (tmi? probably. sorry!) On the not so bright side: if I had guests over I was going to have to deem this the boys only bathroom or the camping bathroom. Wasn't exactly thrilled about that. So I tried the spray again. I think it resulted in a few more lost brain cells. When my friend's dad came by that afternoon to drop off a piece of furniture for me and to take down and put up a new light fixture for me (which was a process, but he did it, he is my hero!), he gave it a try. He couldn't get the screws out, but he did get the cover off. He thought perhaps a hack saw might do the trick. Unfortunately, I don't own a hack saw. I should also mention, that by this time in addition to the screwdriver and drill, I had also tried wrenches, a clamp-like thing of some sort, and a hammer. Two days later Mike's dad came by with a hack saw and it took some doing, but he managed to saw the screws out (or whatever the proper tool lingo is). And hence how it took five people to solve this problem. You might even be able to say seven as one friend of mine asked her husband what I could do and he offered some advice (the spray). So as perverted as this may sound, I don't mean for it to, but watch out for those rusty screws.