I will be the first to tell you that I am not the brightest bulb on the tree. I have "blonde moments" quite regularly. Several people may go so far as to tell you I lack in common sense. Some of them would tell you this in a nice loving way and others are just plain mean (even if it's true). Anyway, given my low self-esteem, I'm not one to usually brag about myself, but I did do well in college (magna cum laude) and I went to graduate school and earned my MEd at a school that was ranked 23rd in the country for its education program so I'd like to think I'm not completely stupid (I mean even smart people have trouble reading maps right? That's why I have gps and step 9 on those ikea directions were pretty tricky, but those are blogs for another day). Anyway, regardless of how smart or dumb I am, it amazes me that I have a Masters degree from a highly ranked graduate school and I say the following things (and yes, many of them I say at work, no wonder people have no respect for teachers)...



Scissors are for cutting paper, not your nose.



When you go the bathroom, please go in the toilet, not on the floor.



If you pee on the seat, please clean it up.



Tooty Ta (if you think thats funny you should see the dance that goes along with it)



We don't eat our clothes in school.



The glue goes on the paper not on your hands.



Stay in the lines when you write or you'll get a ticket.



The following is only funny when said in a whiny voice: "Do you like it when I talk like this? It's really annoying. Oh, dear, I sound like my mother."



Don't forget to flush.



Did you wash your hands?



Write with the markers, don't inhale them.



If you hit that heater one more time, you're taking a time out.



Show me Magic 5.



You don't want to miss your bus or we'll both be in trouble.



Shoes belong on your feet.

I could go on all day, but I think you get the point...